A hard decision

My ex school mate jio me go clubbing... I don't like clubbing but I'm curious and wanna take a look whats inside and whats happening in there. But its ladies night.... and what my friend told me is kinda scary... and made me got disgusted... dirty dancing with girls.... and girls will find you to dirty dance with you even if you don't find them. Cause its after all ladies night and those ladies wanna have "fun". And they are happy and excitied about it.... but im NOT! Guess I'm those lao tu kinda guy those tang, Han, Qing or whatever dynasty minded guy or maybe im just purely weird.

Kinda weird... Im a guy why am I not happy when i can touch girls and girls can touch me? Its like all the guys in the world... my friends all are sooo excitied and happy at the thought of touching girls and having girls touching them, dirty dance with each other.... but am I not happy and why am i repelling these thoughts? Am I really hopelessly lao tu or what? Maybe plus the fact that my heart already given to somebody.... I don't wanna give others to take advantage of me nor do I wanna go take advantage of others. Its so bad. Ok... for a moment i think i sounds gay. But im straight and perfectly normal ok!!!!

I asked for her opinion... she told me to go and take a look and try and maybe i will like it. Don't know why i felt kinda sad after she gave me her this opinion. After much thinking... I realised that i wanted her to tell me not to go. How i wish she asked me not to go..... i would be a happy man... haha... but nah... I don't know what she is thinking too... maybe she wants me to go so much? Maybe i think too much ler.... she just treats me like a normal friend after all. I'm just quite dumb lor. Think so much. sighs. So should i go....?

I'm a stupid guy.... (>.<)


to be continue....